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Anxiety is a complex disease that is difficult to manage.

But not just for people who suffer from it.

This disease is also very distressing for those who love a person who suffers from anxiety.

In fact, this disease is heavy for the people who suffer from it AND for the people who love them: heavy physically and very often, heavy mentally.

The anxiety of a loved one has a lot of influence on daily life.

Projects must adapt and evolve according to the anxiety felt by the person.

Certain situations should be avoided. And it is impossible to make plans if you are not careful, meticulous and rigorous.

Because the emotional needs of a person with generalized anxiety vary from day to day.

Living with someone who suffers from anxiety takes a great personal investment. Understanding how someone with anxiety feels is extremely complex.

And it's completely understandable to feel confused in the face of such complexity.

To help you deal with such a situation, here are 13 things to remember if you love someone with anxiety:

1. They are not defined by their anxiety

No one appreciates being reduced to an attribute of their personality.

If you really want to help someone who suffers from anxiety, tell them you appreciate them as she is, as'unique individual.

Always remember that behind anxiety is a person.

It may already be obvious to you: we do not define a person by the disease from which they suffer.

Unfortunately, when someone you love suffers from a mental disorder, you tend to focus on the illness - and forget about the human being behind it.

Remember: despite their anxiety, this person is a human being. A human being with all of his complexities - like all of us!

Try to never forget that.

2. They get tired easily

Being anxious is exhausting.

In fact, the only people who can truly understand how tiring anxiety can be are ... people who suffer from anxiety.

Anxiety causes an acute state of tension. People who suffer from it are constantly on high alert.

Their minds are hardly ever at peace. And their body is always on alert: either it's the fight or it's the flight.

Of course, this chronic state of tension causes rapid exhaustion.

Situations that are easily managed by those who are not anxious can easily become a real ordeal for people who suffer from anxiety.

Have you ever had a particularly trying week? The kind of week in which, every morning, you say to yourself "I can't take it anymore!" There, I am really exhausted! ".

This state of stress and exhaustion is the daily life of people who suffer from anxiety.

Remember this the next time you push someone with anxiety to be more productive.

3. They are easily confused

By living in a constant state of tension and tension, they are easily confused.

People who suffer from anxiety are hyper-alert.

They are aware of all what's going on around them: every sound, every movement, every smell, every light, every person, every object.

It is because of this hyper-alert state that certain situations, which a priori do not seem confusing, can quickly become overwhelming for someone with anxiety.

For example, just having people having a conversation in the same room can become stressful for an anxious person.

When trying to encourage and support people with anxiety, remember that activities that are enjoyable for you can easily become confusing for them.

When trying to get someone with anxiety to go somewhere, remember that activities that are enjoyable for you can easily become confusing for them.

This is why we must at all costs avoid imposing situations in which they may feel “locked in”.

To reassure them, don't forget to tell them that if they wish, they can leave and that they can do so at any time.

4. They know that their anxiety is often irrational

Yes, they know it: often their anxiety is irrational.

But knowing that his illness is irrational unfortunately does not prevent thoughts from racing by.

Their minds keep thinking of all the hundreds of disaster scenarios that could happen at instant T.

If it were as easy as saying to yourself "well, my anxieties are irrational. I don't need to worry," most people who suffer from anxiety wouldn't have any more problems!

This is precisely one of the worst things about anxiety: knowing that it is irrational.

Therefore, there is no point in pointing out to people who suffer from anxiety that their thoughts are irrational - they already know that.

What they really need is compassion, forgiveness and support.

Maybe we think we are doing the right thing when we point out to them that their anxiety is irrational and unnecessary.

But in reality, it is far from helping them.

5. They know how to express what they feel (you just have to know how to listen to them)

Just because these people suffer from anxiety doesn't mean they can't communicate what they're feeling.

(Unless they're having a panic attack, in which case they're unlikely to be able to talk about it. And in that case, don't try to get them to talk!).

In fact, people with anxiety are still just as fond of talking with others and speaking on their behalf. So don't worry, they'll be great to tell you how they're feeling in due course.

A lot of people think that when a person suffers from anxiety (or any other problem for that matter), and that person doesn't speak, it's because they don't feel like talking.

But the reality is quite different. The reason why the person doesn't feel like talking is often because the person in front of them didn't listen to them properly or worse had a dismissive attitude.

So, the next time you think someone with anxiety can't speak for themselves, bite your tongue! And give him the opportunity to communicate.

Then take the time to listen carefully to what she has to say to you.

6. When they panic, they don't need to have someone ask them 15 times how are you doing

When you see someone with anxiety panicking, are you sure you really should ask them if they're okay?

You already know the answer: she's having a panic attack!

Her heart is beating fast, her hands are sweaty, her chest is squeezed, her arms and legs are shaking from the adrenaline and on top of that she has just entered a fight or flight state.

When people with anxiety have a panic attack, they think they are going to die.

So instead of asking them if “it's okay”, try something different.

Here are some good examples of what you could tell them to help them:

To. “Breathe. Don't forget to breathe. "

b. "Try ——— (add a technique here that has helped them in the past)"

vs. "Do you want us to go somewhere quieter? "

d. "I'm here if you need me. (Then, leave them alone if they don't ask you anything.)

e. “You are having a panic attack. It will not last. You've overcome it in the past - and you're going to overcome this one too. "

Above all, don't forget the most important thing: if they ask you to leave them alone - leave them alone!

They are the ones who have the most experience in dealing with a panic attack. Let them act as they see fit.

7. They are grateful for your help.

Anxiety is difficult for everyone involved - including the people who love them.

And that people who suffer from anxiety know it.

They know they are irrational. They know that you have been forced to give up activities or events to save them unpleasant times.

They are keenly aware of the effort required to care for and support them.

If there is one thing people who suffer from anxiety have in common, it is that they overanalyze all.

And this "over-analysis" also concerns the people who help them or who have helped them - it is inevitable.

Know that your help and support, even in its most subtle forms, never goes unnoticed.

8. They have trouble letting go

When you suffer from anxiety, you over-analyze things. It is an inescapable aspect of this disease.

This is why it is important to understand WHY people with anxiety overanalyze things.

The majority of them have experienced an event that traumatized them (very often, they have experienced several).

However, when we have experienced a traumatic event, the memory can get stuck in our limbic system (the part of our brain that determines whether we are in danger or not).

Memories of traumatic events are not "recorded" in the same way as others. They are also stored in a different region of the brain from “normal” memories.

Therefore, the brain reacts differently to these memories.

In particular, the brain is constantly trying to make connections between the traumatic memory and the current situation (this is one of the causes of the acute state of tension in people who suffer from anxiety).

Once their brain is in the grip of this mechanism, it is very difficult for them to let go.

Indeed, the brain is, in the long term, in a state of prolonged anxiety.

The result ? Letting go of life's worries, no matter how small, becomes a particularly difficult task.

People with anxiety can't just "let go" - their brains are preventing them!

So try not to make life harder for them than it already is for them.

9. They react badly to change (even when they expect it)

We all have our comfort zone - whether we have anxiety or not.

Even for a balanced person, stepping out of their comfort zone can be difficult.

So for people who suffer from anxiety, getting out of your comfort zone is even more complicated

That doesn't mean they don't like the change.

Because once they agree to step out of their comfort zone, they are quite adept at embracing change.

It’s just for them that it’s much longer and harder.

The rare times people who suffer from anxiety feel better is when they are in their comfort zone without the risk of having to deal with a change around them.

When they are faced with a big change, it takes a long time for them to get used to it and get back to their comfort zone.

It is therefore important to be a little more patient and forgiving with people who are anxious.

Because they are really trying to get out of it. Trust them.

10. When they ignore you, they don't always do it on purpose.

To manage your anxiety, you need to be able to control the little inner voice. And sometimes this process requires a lot of attention and energy.

In people who suffer from anxiety, even the slightest little thing can cause negative thoughts.

When, suddenly, they seem to be losing their minds on a conversation, it is likely that they are over-analyzing a topic just discussed.

Or, maybe they are trying to calm their minds down. Either way, it takes a lot of concentration.

But rest assured, they are not ignoring you. And if so, they're not doing it on purpose.

It's just that they are fighting. They are fighting not to have a panic attack right in front of your eyes.

No need to ask them if "are you okay?" ". And above all, no need to question them about what you just said to check that they have followed the discussion.

If this is really important, you can talk to them a bit later, when they seem more attentive.

Sometimes their mind is a real battleground. Suddenly, they will leave a conversation without realizing it. And if they realize it, they feel guilty.

Reassure them and let them know you understand.

Just make sure they have understood the important information you were talking about - especially if it concerns new responsibilities that you want to give them (even if it means writing them down on a piece of paper!).

11. They don't always live in the present moment

As mentioned above, people who suffer from anxiety may appear absent during a conversation.

But it is not necessarily the conversation that triggers this reaction.

At one time or another, a daily event in life is likely to provoke in us a little moment of contemplation.

But for people who suffer from anxiety, it takes just a little bit to get them into deep thought.

Often times, they get lost in their thoughts - by the way, it shows by their blank gaze.

But unlike what you see in romantic movies, it's not fun to scare them off when they're lost in their thoughts (although it might make you laugh!).

Instead, try to bring them back into the present moment on a regular basis, but in a more delicate way.

Find a way to remind them where they are and what they are doing (but not literally - they have anxiety, not short-term memory loss!).

Most importantly, remind them that they should try to enjoy the present moment. They will surely appreciate your gesture.

12. For them, anxiety doesn't have to be a constraint (and you should believe them!)

Basically, suffering from anxiety isn't that bad.

Of course, this can be difficult at times, but anxiety doesn't have to be a huge strain.

Because, somewhere, anxiety helped shape the person she is today.

On close look, anxiety can even end up improving an individual's life.

Why ? Because anxiety can cause people to perceive the world in totally different ways - and many times that perception turns out to be better.

Certainly, the symptoms of anxiety are not great. Over-analyzing things is not that great. Don't be "present" during a conversation, either.

When you think about it, any aspect of life can potentially turn negative.

But that does not necessarily mean that this is the way people who suffer from anxiety choose to see things - at least not all the time.

Remember, part of their personality is anxiety.

Remember that part of who they are (and the life experiences that define them) is anxiety too.

Anxiety can also have positive sides. People who suffer from it know it, and many of them choose to see these positive aspects (especially people whose condition is improving).

You too have the opportunity to see these positive sides.

13. They are awesome!

Like all people on our planet, they are awesome! :-)

(That's why you love them, isn't it?)

Seeing the negative side of things is easy, especially when it comes to mental disorders.

To cope with this, remember that people who suffer from anxiety are awesome.

They were before they were anxious and they are after they were!

Remember: seeing the positive side of things is a choice. Seeing the positive side of a situation is a choice. Seeing the awesome side of people with anxiety is a choice : your choice.

If they can do it, so can you!

There you go, now you know the 13 truths you should NEVER forget about loving someone who suffers from anxiety.

Try not to forget these truths, they should make your day-to-day life easier if you are around someone who suffers from anxiety.

This is not a certainty of course. Because, let's be frank, each person is unique. What works for one person may not work for another.

On the other hand, there is one thing that works always : the compassion we feel for the people we love.

If there's one thing you need to take away from our article, it's that everyone - especially those in pain - deserves your compassion.

So give your compassion, especially to those in need.

Your turn...

And you ? What do you think of our article? Did we forget something? Have we misinterpreted the anxiety? Share your opinion with us in the comments. We can't wait to hear from you!

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Also to discover:

12 Toxic Thoughts To Avoid For A Better Life.

7 Behaviors Seen To Be Negative But Which Are Actually Good For You.