The 10 Ways Men Can Destroy Their Marriage.
It is important to remember that the main goal of marriage is to be happy and peaceful.
So, while the list below may seem daunting, never forget it!
If life seems stressful to you, then try to change your perception. Indeed, you are the only person who can transform your stress into tranquility.
If you are feeling unhappy, look for the things in life that satisfy you. The only way to live in peace is to feel serene.
Remember, the only person you can change is yourself!
Even if we do not forget that, in a couple, each one must take his share of responsibility in the success of a marriage, below we have listed the ten mistakes that men make the most often.
Read on to learn more about the behaviors of men that can completely destroy a marriage:
1. Leave his wife alone
One of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. Like spending long hours at work and then going out for a beer with your friends.
And, when you get home, you don't take care of her or your children. Instead, you wallow in front of a soccer game or in front of your computer to make online bets.
And the weekend ? You complain about the clutter at home. And if you go shopping, it's to disappear for several hours. Do you know that one of the most difficult things for a woman to experience is that feeling of isolation when her husband leaves her?
Yes, your wife has friends and a job. She spends a lot of time running around with the children. A woman can of course practice activities without her husband. But it is not the same thing. What she wants is to spend time with you, the man she loves. Being abandoned by her husband can cause deep grief in her.
For most women, the greatest fear comes down to isolation and deprivation. When a woman feels abandoned by her husband, she tends to attack him with hurtful and disrespectful remarks. Her ability to verbally hurt you is her most powerful weapon, and she uses it to try and get your attention.
When a woman starts pestering you because you don't spend enough time at home, (because you never date her, and never take care of the children), chances are she will feel abandoned. and isolated. If you stop spending time together, the emotional distance between you quickly sets in.
2. Not being affectionate enough
Your wife loves being close to you. If she starts to think it's different for you, your marriage is in danger. As you strive to maintain your independence, she wants to feel connected to you. Don't just be affectionate and attentive with her on the days you want or need her.
Affection and closeness should be an end in itself, not a means to something else. Talking isn't the only thing women like, although it's important.
Here are some simple ideas to keep your wife happy: kiss her often, hold her hand, and spend time alone with her. When her need for closeness is met, she will be more inclined to respect your need for independence. When your wife feels close to you, she will also be more willing to fuck with you during a more intimate plan.
The important thing to remember is to help her feel connected. Try to talk to her about your day, your fears and hopes, and your dreams. Hold her hand when you're dating. Unexpectedly kiss her in the kitchen as she cooks dinner. Sit down next to her. Ask her how she is, and for a few minutes, give her your undivided attention as she answers you. These little touches will really show her that you love her. Marriage is a long road that you have to know how to maintain.
2.5. Withdraw into oneself
The women are whole. Their mind, body and soul are closely linked. If they feel hurt, the whole system is affected. A woman with a preoccupied mind can easily suffer from fatigue and turmoil. Men know how to compartmentalize. Men are able to live normally even if one area of their life is not functioning properly.
Also know that your wife does not understand your behavior when you shut yourself up and become mysterious. Things seem to be sliding on you and nothing seems to bother you. You don't feel like talking to her when she knows you're stressed out about work. When she questions you, your wife is not trying to get into your brain to find out everything that is going on there. She just wants you to be more open.
She wants to see you as you really are on the inside. She feels your love and would like you to share your fears, fears and doubts with her. She needs to feel that she is also your confidante in difficult times. Don't think she's trying to change or "fix" you. She's just here to give you a listening ear.
Try to talk to her about what's going on in your head, including your concerns. Women between them love to verbally let off steam without necessarily trying to find a solution to the problem. All she wants is to give you an opportunity to express yourself verbally.
3. Want to solve all the problems
Even if she doesn't always say it, your wife sees you as "her strength". As the bearer of his burdens. When she comes to you seeking your help in alleviating her worries, it should be seen as a compliment. She knows you can help her, she knows you can handle it.
But beware ! Rather than trying to solve and sort out all of his problems, try to just listen to him. You can even ask her if she really needs a solution to her problem or just a listening ear.
You will see, it will be a relief for both of you when you realize that sometimes you don't need to sort out all the issues that come up during your conversations. Just talking about it is more than enough. Also, if you listen to her, she will feel understood (even if she isn't, which in the end is not that bad).
4. Not knowing how to say "I'm sorry"
All marriages have their ups and downs. Realize that refusing to apologize is a quick way to destroy your own. Although conflict is not a pleasant thing, know that your bond can grow out of it once the conflict is resolved. For your wife, making an apology means that she has taken a step out of the conflict, and that she is now seeking inner peace.
Many husbands see an apology as a sign of weakness. They're like, "If I apologize, she won't respect me anymore." However, it is exactly the opposite. If you humbly apologize and ask for her forgiveness, your wife will be more understanding.
Your little act of contrition will soothe her spirit, and act as a healing balm on her heart and your marriage. In addition, it shows that you are open, that you want to make an effort to make it work between you and that your marriage is important enough to you to admit your mistakes. Finally, it shows that you are able to evolve and move on to make your marriage come out more solid.
5. Take your doubts lightly
Your wife cares about your commitment. When she sees that you are watching other women on the streets, on TV, on your computer, or anywhere else, she worries that you may be unfaithful to her. It may make her uncomfortable. She will obviously wonder if you are attracted to these women. Especially if, on her side, she is only looking at you!
Either way, she's fragile and needs your comfort. Not to be belittled, ignored or teased. All of this devalues your wife and her very real feelings. When you stare at a cute young lady strolling around, it's like a reminder to your wife of her many imperfections. She feels insecure and she wants to know if you still love her because for her, this kind of behavior is not really reassuring ...
It is not abnormal to look at other women, in fact, it is perfectly natural. But the danger arises when you are caught red-handed and you don't look away. This shows that you are ignoring your wife's feelings, nor her discomfort.
Your wife is motivated by your love and loyalty. She is involved in your relationship, and wants to feel that you are just as involved as she is.
When your wife is feeling insecure, she may ask you if you are thinking of her. She may ask you if you like her. She may ask you if you think another woman is more attractive than her. She can ask you a lot of questions too, but don't worry, this is not a trap.
She's just trying to open up to you, asking a question and starting a conversation. Speaking, discussing, it is his means of knowing, of understanding. She is looking for proof of your love and loyalty. Rather than trying to avoid this situation, consider watching it instead. Yes ! To really watch her. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Give her the assurance she is seeking, and peace to calm her troubled mind.
6. Neglecting the little touches
Your wife doesn't necessarily want jewelry or a very expensive meal. Granted, sometimes it's the icing on the cake especially if you like to shower it with gifts. However, it is far from always essential!
Indeed, she will feel much more loved thanks to the small gestures that show your love and attention on a daily basis. When you overlook these little touches, she might think you're trying to buy her affection - or relieve your own guilt - with expensive things.
Instead, let her know you're thinking of her during the day. A simple rose when you come home says a lot about your love. Call or text her during the day to let her know you're thinking of her. Offer to help her with dinner or the dishes. It's the little gifts of your time that mean a lot to your wife.
For your wife, the most important days of the year are very often her birthday and your wedding anniversary. Celebrate these days together by spending time just the two of you. It will mean more than any other expensive gift. The cost is secondary. The important thing is the intention you put in it. She wants to feel special and important to you. The way to help her feel loved is to spend time alone with her. Even if you sit at home to watch a movie, give it your undivided attention.
7. Forget that sex is above all a shared pleasure
When you confuse sex and intimacy, it's not very pleasant. When you are only focusing on your own orgasm, it is not very pleasant. When you only show interest in your wife when you want her, it's not very pleasant. When you devalue your intimate relationships with crass and dirty jokes, it's not very pleasant. When you expect her to be instantly aroused, that's not very pleasant either. Finally, when you neglect your wife's sexual needs, it's not very pleasant.
When you're married, sex is supposed to be fun.
Intimacy is designed to bring you closer, sex should cement your relationship. To illustrate this point, imagine your wife as a slow cooker. You, you are a microwave. Microwave a meal, and you'll be eating in 3 min. On the other hand, a cooking meal in the slow cooker takes much longer. You have to put the appropriate ingredients together, then cook, and wait. And only after six or eight hours you can enjoy yourself.
Your wife needs so much attention and consideration. Start the morning with a kiss. Tell her she's beautiful. A woman never tires of hearing this phrase from the man she loves. Help the children get ready for school. After work, ask her questions to find out how her day went.
Take the time, that is the key word! If you want to mix pleasure and sex, consider the slow cooker, not the microwave! You can microwave, but only in the shower ;-)
8. Lock in bitterness and anger
When you lock yourself in your despair, brooding, your wife begins to be afraid. Women like to talk about things. Men tend to withdraw. When you feel stressed about work, money, your relationship, you withdraw into yourself. This causes fear of being abandoned as well as rejection in your wife.
When you refuse to talk to her, she will think that you don't like her anymore. This fear, and her desire to resolve conflicts, will cause your wife to pester you with questions. She wants to talk about it with you, not to denigrate or demean you but just to feel closer to you. She wants you to trust her. If you stay away from her to avoid discussing what's bothering you, she knows something's wrong, and she'll start to assume that she's the problem ...
But you have the power to avert the looming disaster. How? 'Or' What ? By opening up to your wife. She loves You. You can trust him. Share what is on your heart with her, and she will open her heart to you too.
9. Not knowing how to take responsibility
Whether we are talking about addiction, adultery or professional error, men often blame their wives. "I drink because she's hysterical. I cheated on her because she didn't know how to take care of me. I don't get ahead with my work because she never encourages me."
Stop! It's time to take responsibility for your behavior. Know how to be responsible for your actions. You choose to drink. You are the one who chose to cheat on her. You choose whether or not to work hard enough to move up through the ranks. You are consciously doing all of these things, no one has forced you. Rather than blaming someone or something, assume!
Be a reflection of the values you stand for. Your life is completely in your control. Today you can choose to live differently. You can create exactly the life you want. Besides, if your wife is truly the root of all your problems, then take control and have the courage to tell her the truth. She won't be able to change if you don't explain the problem to her.
10. Choose a woman who is not made for you
A tormented woman who goes from one bad relationship to another will continue to suffer even after you get married. A finicky woman who criticizes all of your decisions will continue to seek out the little beast. A woman who still wants to be in control will do the same after marriage. The thing to remember is simple: if this woman is not made for you before marriage, it will not change after marriage, she will retain her flaws. Know it !
If you want a nice woman, date a nice woman and marry her. Treat her with love and respect, and she will return it to you.
Trying to save a suffering woman will only make you feel used and undervalued.
A strong marriage begins with goodwill on both sides, both in the man and in the woman. A marriage flourishes when you grow together in love and respect for one another.
Choosing the wrong woman for you is the best way to fail every time.You can of course love the feeling of being a knight serving to save a desperate damsel. But the reality is, marrying her will be a lot more difficult and a lot less romantic than you think.
Marriage is a full-time job for both husband and wife. When both have the will to make this marriage a good experience, then there is a much greater chance of success.
Work on yourself
While this list may seem daunting, it's important to remember that the main purpose of marriage is to be peaceful and happy. If life seems stressful to you, work to change your perception. Remember that only you have the power to perceive peace where there is stress.
Do not be discouraged because it is enough to change this unique perception to have a peaceful life. If you are feeling unhappy, look for something in life that will be fulfilling for you and be happy. The easiest way to do this is just to be yourself. Never forget : the only person you can change is yourself!
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Also to discover:
12 Reasons Why You Should Have Sex Every Day.
23 Great Activities to Do as a Couple Without Breaking the Bank.