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Contrary to what one might think, being able to be loved by the greatest number is not a gift reserved for the lucky few.

For example those with an advantageous physique, hyper sociable or those with talent.

The reality is in fact quite different. Being "lovable", in the sense of being loved, is a characteristic that you can master. It’s all about "emotional intelligence" (EI).

In a study done at the University of California at Los Angeles, respondents judged among 500 adjectives which ones they thought qualified someone "as kind."

The top rated adjectives had nothing to do with being sociable, intelligent, or attractive.

The highest rated were actually sincerity, transparency, and the ability to understand another person.

All these adjectives correspond to people who have developed a strong emotional intelligence.

People who seduce from the first minute therefore have a way of being, attitudes that are easy to reproduce. This is by no means an impossible trait to acquire.

We did our research to find out what are the main behaviors these people have in common that make them so lovable. Here are their 13 secrets:

1. They ask questions

The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening to other people talk is focusing on what to say next.

As a result, the words come out of the mouth of the speaker, but their meaning is lost.

One easy way to avoid this when listening to someone talk is to ask questions. People like to know that you are listening to them.

Just asking questions to clarify their point not only shows that you are listening to them, but also that you are interested in what they are saying.

You will be surprised at the respect and recognition you will get just by asking questions.

2. They put their phone aside

Nothing will chill a person more than a text message sent in the middle of a conversation or even a glance at your smartphone screen.

When you have a conversation with someone, focus on it and give it your full attention.

You will find that conversations are much more enjoyable and productive when you get involved.

3. They are sincere

Being sincere and honest is essential for other people to like you.

No one likes impostors. People like to surround themselves with decent people because they know they can be counted on.

It's hard to love a person when you don't know who they really are and what they feel behind appearances.

Kind people know who they are. They are confident enough to feel good about themselves.

By focusing on what makes you happy and motivates you in life, you become a much more interesting person.

On the contrary, if you make choices just to try and win the friendship of those around you, people may not trust you.

4. They don't judge

If you want to be loved, you have to be open-minded. When you are open-minded, you are much more accessible and interesting.

No one wants to have a conversation with someone who already has a strong opinion and who doesn't want to discover an opinion different from their own.

Having an open mind is imperative in the world of work where it is important to be approachable to take advantage of new ideas and advice that we can give you.

To avoid having preconceived ideas and judgments, you should try to see the world through other people's eyes.

This is not to say that you need to believe what they believe or approve of all of their behaviors or choices.

It just means that you stop judging others and take the time to understand what makes them tick.

5. They don't try to attract attention

People don't like those who crave too much attention. Realize that you don't have to be an extrovert to be someone you like.

To win people’s friendship, you just need to be warm and polite to them.

When you speak in a sympathetic, confident manner and without wanting to monopolize the conversation, you will notice that people will pay much more attention to what you are saying.

You have a much better chance of convincing them than if you are arrogant.

Typically, people aren't really drawn to those who like to list the number of VIPs they know.

And when, for example, you are congratulated on achieving your goals, try shifting attention to all the people who have worked hard to help you be where you are today.

Of course, that might sound a bit cliché. But if you do it sincerely, knowing how to appreciate the help of others will show your ability to be grateful and humble - 2 adjectives closely related to being loved.

6. They are consistent and stable

Few things can make you less attractive than when you change your mind like shirts.

When people want to talk to you, they need to know who they're dealing with and what kind of response they can expect in return.

To be consistent with yourself you have to be reliable and you have to make sure that even when you change your mood it doesn't impact the way you treat people.

7. They have positive behavior and gestures

Being aware of her gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making sure they're always positive) will attract people around you like honey attracts bees.

Using an enthusiastic tone, not crossing your arms, looking people in the eye, and leaning slightly towards the person you are speaking with are examples of positive body language.

This positive gesture demonstrates great emotional intelligence and has the power to attract people.

Positive gestures can make all the difference in a conversation. So how you say things is just as important as what you say.

8. They leave a good first impression

Studies show that most people decide whether or not they like you in First 7 seconds of your meeting.

Then they spend the rest of the conversation justifying their first reaction. It’s all happening in their heads, inside.

It may sound terrifying, but by knowing it you can use this information to your advantage and win people’s friendship quickly.

Know that first impressions are closely linked to positive body language.

A confident posture, a firm handshake, a smile and straight shoulders turned towards the person you are talking to will go a long way in making a good impression.

9. They greet people by their first name

Your first name is an integral part of who you are, and everyone loves to hear their first name spoken by someone else.

People who are liked always make sure to call other people by their first names whenever they see them.

Studies also show that people feel confident when the person they are talking to uses their first name during a conversation.

If you easily recognize people by their faces but have trouble remembering their first names, try making it a fun memory exercise.

When you meet someone, don't be afraid to ask their name a second time if you forgot them right after hearing them.

Indeed, you will need to keep their first name under the elbow the next time you meet this person.

And if you don't want to ask him his name a second time, use this trick.

10. They smile

Naturally and also unconsciously, people mimic the body language of the person they are talking to.

If you want people to like you, smile at them while you talk to them.

They will subconsciously return the favor to you and in addition they will feel good in your presence.

11. They know how to open at the right time

Be careful not to share your personal problems and other confessions too quickly because you risk coming across as a grumpy person.

Kind people have a habit of letting their interlocutor guide them as to when it is the right time for them to open up.

12. They know who they can touch

When you touch a person during a conversation, you trigger the secretion of oxytocin in their brain.

As a result, this person will automatically have more confidence in you.

Just touching someone on the shoulder, giving them a hug or giving them a good handshake will release oxytocin in their brain.

Obviously, you need to touch the right person in the right way to release oxytocin, because touching someone unwanted and inappropriately will have the opposite effect.

Remember that human relationships are not just about words, but also about different feelings towards each other.

Touching someone in the right way is a great way to show that you care.

13. They keep a good balance between their professional and personal life

People revolve around those who are passionate. Unfortunately, it is easy for those who are passionate to be seen as overly serious or indifferent because they tend to get engrossed in their work.

People who are appreciated know how to balance their passion with times for fun.

At work, they are serious while remaining nice. They also know how to be productive and efficient in a short time because they know how to lean on their colleagues by putting their skills to good use. They avoid talking to say nothing and are not interested in gossip.

Instead, they focus on useful interactions that are really worth it. They remember what you said yesterday or last week.

It shows that you are just as important as their work.

In conclusion, people who are appreciated have unique and invaluable personalities. They network easily, they know how to set the right atmosphere in the office, they know how to get the best out of the people around them and they seem to have the most fun.

Add these qualities to your repertoire and you'll see people start to like you a lot more!

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Also to discover:

8 Things To Tell Your Children To Make Them Happy.

26 Great Tips For Living Happily.